The theory that events in our life are not the cause of our upset, but our reactions — based on our beliefs — is the cornerstone of the powerful model that Dr Ellis formulated. It was […] an insightful and forgiving approach to human emotional life […]. On the basis that all of us have a shared vision in life, namely to be happy, it’s a shame that fortune doesn’t always agree with us. Our wants, needs and goals are constantly being blocked. […] All human beings are different of course, but there are three major and universal irrational beliefs — with different manifestations — that upset everybody and that Ellis called ‘The Three Basic Musts’. These relate to:
Category: english
About Intention Cues
Picking up an intention cue quite often saves a relationship because some people, out of politeness, don’t want to verbalise what their intentions are. They rely on the body language reading skills of the other person — that means you. If they have to keep making repeated intention movements, it can irritate. Often it’s the last thing they remember about the interaction and so it can cause negative feelings.
James Borg – Body Language
About the Unknown
Tell me a secret
Tell me anything
What’s your weapon?
What’s your middle name?
What do you believe in?
What’s your animal?
Are you a cat or a dog person?
What’s your outlook?
What’s your favourite saying?Hey, maybe you’ll laugh
Maybe you laugh a lot
And maybe you started
But you somehow quit the part
Or you may be a hippie and a democrat
Yeah I remember that, I think
And you might like wine
But you’re not the type who likes to drink
About Distractions
Trying to create something that’s not there.
A spark I saw as a bomb is just a means to an end.
And I was just so happy to be out of my shell again,
don’t think that I really cared for who or what.
So for now I’ll just have to keep it shut.
If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.
Please, stop acting like you are.
How could I know that everything you say
are lies about devotion and desire?
And I know the spark inside your eyes was just
the match I used to set myself on fire.
About Listening
It’s all too easy to blame the listener or ‘audience’ in a meeting or social setting when they disagree, or — in your eyes — have missed the point. Your ‘performance’ has not struck the right chord — you didn’t pick up the body language signals that suggested doubt, uncertainty or hostility on their part, and so your lack of awareness precluded you from even trying to rectify the situation.
James Borg – Body Language
About Honesty
Moderator: Before we go, is there anything you two would like to say to each other?
Woman: No… yes… just… I’m sorry for a lot of things. I care about you and I never meant to hurt you.
Moderator: Alright, your turn. Anything.
Man: You know how I feel about you. It’s the same way I’ve always felt; it’s never changed… since the first day I met you.
Moderator: Well, then my work is done here.
About Attitude
All those who are hangin’ round the water cooler
Will never believe how you tackled the thousand puzzle pieces
And you could see it before we completed it, before we made it whole
How you put it all together with a blindfoldYou’re like a long game token that keeps the game goin’
But your claim to fame is how you like to lay low
Out of the lime light which can hurt your eyes
If you’re not careful you’ll become another devil in disguise